15 Ways to Protect Yourself since the World is a Flaming Trashcan

Trump is President-elect, Mike Pence is his VP, and LGBTQ+/POC/Muslim/women/disabled individuals/immigrants are scared.

We’re scared of legislation working against us, policies that will potentially hurt us, and the precedent set by Trump/Pence being the individuals that will soon be in charge of our nation.

Yet we’re also extremely scared of violence against us.

Pride flags are being burned, American flags are being burned outside the homes of POC, Muslims are facing threats and having their hijabs ripped off, and even the very white women that voted for Trump/Pence are being subjected to threats of sexual violence online and in person.

With so many LGBTQ+/POC/Muslim/women/disabled individuals/immigrants heading to protests, or simply being out in this danger their daily, the time has come for us to protect ourselves.

So I’ve compiled a list of 15 non-lethal protection devices, all under $20, and which will fit a variety of comfort levels.

The first set of products are great for people who do not feel comfortable carrying anything that has violent potential on their person.

A good tool for children who walk to school, or are openly out within their schools. It’s discrete, and adorable. The clip on character may not be that loud (ideal for individuals that are extremely adverse to loud noises and would be deterred from using the key chain due to that) but it is still useful.

Another good defensive item for children. This clip on teddy bear is designed as a sexual assault alarm for women, but would be ideal for anyone with late night classes on deserted campuses. Pull the tab, 160 decibels scream out, insert the tab and it turns off.

This little thing is loud, and jarring. It’s also the most “adult” of the other keychains I’ve provided, so for those who don’t want to walk around with a teddy bear on your bookbag or a ladybug on your lanyard, this one is for you. The alarm can be stopped by removing the tab.

REMEMBER: These alarms are loud, and should not be held up to the ear. With that said, if you’re being attacked and the sound of an alarm does not lead your attacker to flee, totally hold this right up next to their ear.

The next set of products are perfect for someone who feels they would be better off carrying a potential weapon that is not obviously a weapon.

It’s a cat ring with ear spikes that can do damage on any soft-tissue it hits with force. This ring is cute, stylish, and definitely discrete, but also allows for in the moment defense without having to fumble for whatever weapon you’re carrying on you. Aim for the eyes, the nose, the throat, and the temples. Well, anywhere you can hit. It’ll hurt.

Another alarm that comes with a protective heart keychain. You hold the rectangle end in your hand, and aim the point of the heart wherever there is soft tissue. Similar to the cat ring (and all the defensive keychains), aim for eyes, nose, throat, and temple.

What can I say, protective keychains are my favorite thing in the world. This one is particularly nasty. A colorful spike allows the user to do more than just punch has hard at they can. You have the ability to angle your defensive attack in a way that will best suit your situation.

Last keychain, I promise. This cat is my go-to favorite, and I have one similar to this that slips easily into my back pocket for quick access.

I fully recommend the key chains for individuals of small builds. You can use your body to your advantage and aim for areas you feel will do the most damage. These are something you want to use to strike once, then get away as quickly as possible. 

The best things about the keychains, but as a money clip. Ideal for anyone who does not carry a lot of keys on their person, or an individual that does not use a wallet and would actually have a need for a money clip.

These are multi-use items that can really benefit a user in many ways. The pens are designed to be able to break glass and can actually write. It is designed in a similar way to the Pressure Tip FURY keychain, and may be the best option for many.

  • Scarves

Scarf wearers rejoice, your scarf can also double as a means of protection. Tactical scarves can be found on Amazon, but your standard thick-clothed scarf works just a well. In order to most effectively use the scarf to protect yourself, you may need to look into Youtube tutorials on garottes.

  • Belts

Similar to the scarf, your belt can be dangerous when you need it to be!

  • Keys

Just like all the keychains have spikes that can be used to injure your attackers, holding keys between your fingers can provide injury to soft parts of the body. Place one key, point side sticking out of your hand, between your fingers so when you make a fist it looks like you’re Wolverine. Effective, and looks kinda cool.

And now for your more standard self defense options; Tasers and Pepper Spray

My favorite option in the wide world of tasers/stun guns, the VIPERTEK Stun Gun is a cheaper option to a self-defense product I own myself. This stun gun doubles as an LED flashlight, allowing the user to potentially temporarily stun their attacker, giving them time either use the stun gun or flee. This one is rechargeable and portable.

The less intimidating of the SABRE pepper sprays I’ve seen, this model comes a quick release key ring (it’s another keychain, I lied earlier), lasts 25 bursts, and has a stream with a 10 foot reach.

This is almost identical to it’s little sibling listed above. The main difference is the formula used in the pepper spray. This product uses a formula similar to police-grade pepper spray, using CS tear gas to back up it’s stopping power. The best part about this upgraded spray? The CS tear gas is mixed in with a UV dye that stains the face of your attacker to aid in the apprehension and identification. They might get away, but they will not get that shit off their face easily.

When using any of these products, you need to look into how to safely handle/store them. Buy these with the intention to protect yourself, with force if necessary. On top of these items, look into self defense classes in your area.

Stay safe out there, I love you all.

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