We Are Bisexuality: Chels

#WeAreBisexuality is a month-long campaign to share the stories of Bisexuals during Bisexual Visibility Month. Stories and photographs shared with the permission of the parties involved. Share your story with us all throughout Bisexual Visibility Month.

Chels is a 24 year old bisexual woman who faced some major internalization while coming out, some of which she still struggles with –

“I didn’t start to come out until I was 22. I struggled a lot even identifying my sexuality to myself because I was convinced that my attractions to certain genders invalidated my attractions to others. Once I fought the internalized homophobia, I then had to struggle with the biphobia that I hadn’t realized I had been fighting against my entire life. I cycled through labels, and once rejected attraction to any gender because I would have rather I liked no one than been attracted to many/all as I am. I wanted so badly to just “”have one””, to just choose one. And even now, I sometimes still wish it were that easy. I am as proud as can be of my bisexuality, but some days I would rather just be gay than feel alienated from my own community. I’m tired of having to fight to be able to exist as myself, to take up space in queer spaces — spaces that should be mine to begin with — to use simple terms and feel comfortable knowing that my identity won’t be attacked within my own community. Because despite being wlw, I’m somehow less to L&G’s, and sometimes I feel like i always will be. Every time I am faced with biphobia I struggle to remember all of the reasons that i have come to love my sexuality. The internalization is real, and its difficult to get rid of it entirely — especially when acceptance can be difficult, but the way others see us — the misconceptions that they have, non of it reflects on who we are as individuals or a community. “

Her wishes for the LGBTQIAP+ community, and specifically the Bisexual community are simple –

“Awareness, acceptance, less fighting and invalidation both in the lgbt community and out. I want people to understand bisexuality as it is, and to feel comfortable identifying that way (if that’s how they feel) without facing the biphobia that we do every day.

In the end, she has one thing to say to those who have yet to come out –

You deserve to live /your/ life. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of any part of who you are, and you have every right to be ad proud of your sexuality as anyone who may experience attraction to only one sex/gender.     

Chels

 

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