We Are Bisexuality; Andy

#WeAreBisexuality is a month-long campaign to share the stories of Bisexuals during Bisexual Visibility Month. Stories and photographs shared with the permission of the parties involved. Share your story with us all throughout Bisexual Visibility Month.

AndyAndy is a 23 year old panromantic, polyamorous bisexual woman who came out to a neutral audience-

“I called my mom over to my room. Asked her to close the door and sit down because I had something important to say. She was busy so she insisted I could/should just tell her while she leaned against the doorframe. I told her I was bisexual. She sort of just stared at me until I started crying because I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

Cue: “”Oh, I thought you were joking.””

After which she really just told me it was dumb that I had to come out at all since all it did was cause stress over something completely natural, and that she really didn’t care either way as long as I was happy.”

She has some advice for those that might be in her position-

“[Come out] to your good friends first – or others that you’re very close to and you know will be happy for you. Establish a support system for yourself before coming out to those you’re uncertain about. Also don’t let any assholes who refuse to see bisexuality as a valid sexual orientation get you down. Both before and after coming out this is something I have struggled with and seen others be put down for. Most importantly, if you are comfortable with yourself, that is really what’s matters. You don’t NEED to come out. I will likely never come out to the rest of my family unless I go out with another woman and decide to bring her home to meet the family. I am comfortable with this. I am just myself, and telling the world WHO I like to do in the bedroom seems just as inappropriate to me as telling them how. So if you want to come out in a cloud of glitter, go ahead, but if you just want to grab your coat and go for a walk outside to celebrate no one but yourself, that’s good too.”

Internalization wasn’t too big of a factor in her realization, rather the options became overwhelming-

“I still struggle with labelling myself in general. It’s not so much internalization as I surprisingly didn’t grow up with prejudices toward sexuality. My issue is that during the time when I was trying to put a name to how I felt, there were SO many different terms popping up that it was hard for me to decide what best applied to me. This is something I still struggle with today. As the old meme goes: if I like you then you’re lucky, because I really don’t like people. That’s about how I’d describe myself. I’ve felt attraction for various people of different races, age groups, sexes, genders/gender expressions, which were not only sexual and/or romantic but occasionally also purely aesthetic.”

And she has a few wishes for the bisexual community-

“That people will recognize that our sexuality is valid and that we’re not just a bunch of cheaters and sluts who are always looking for the next easy lay. Sexual attraction does not mean sexual promiscuity, and I am exhausted of people assuming that being bisexual means wanting to sleep with everyone they meet. We are not inherently attracted to every single person we meet, just as heterosexuals and homosexuals are not either. “

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