We Are Bisexuality; Chris

#WeAreBisexuality is a month-long campaign to share the stories of Bisexuals during Bisexual Visibility Month. Stories and photographs shared with the permission of the parties involved. Share your story with us all throughout Bisexual Visibility Month.

Chris is a 22 year old nonbinary bisexual individual who, after a trip in college, was met mostly with acceptance about their identity-

“I came to terms with my bisexuality in my sophomore year of college. The first time I actually claimed the label was at a week-long leadership retreat where we were discussing our intersecting identities and how they make us who we are. One of my fellow students was very loud and proud about her bisexuality, and I was inspired by her. I came to know and befriend quite a few fellow bisexuals at that retreat and the sense of community made me feel more assured in who I was. Prior to that, I only really saw any community and representation for gay and straight – I had internalized the idea that bisexuality was not as valid an identity or orientation as them.

I “”came out”” to a few of my friends and associates when the topic arose in causal conversation, which was never a big deal. To most people, though, I never formally came out – I just posted about it a lot on social media so they got the gist. I did come out to my parents because they aren’t privy to my online life or student activities, but I only did so when I got into a serious relationship with a woman. As an AFAB person whose parents still believe I’m a woman, I knew I’d have to address it eventually if I was serious about my relationship. Before that, though, I didn’t really think it was any of their business. I didn’t live at home, which made it a bit easier, but I did still rely on them for financial support while in college, which was my biggest concern. I came out to my mother while on the highway in her car and she didn’t care in the slightest, which was a relief. I came out to my father a few days later at home, and he refused to believe it at first. He would skirt around the topic of my girlfriend and pretend that the conversation never happened. After a few months, though, he came to accept it, and now he and my girlfriend get along really well!

I am very very grateful to be surrounded by immediate family and friends that don’t ostracize me for my bisexuality, or try to convince me that I’m confused. My extended family is still less than enthused, but I don’t see them very often, and their opinions mean relatively little to me. Compared to my non-binary gender identity, I’ve had relatively little trouble discussing and gaining acceptance for my bisexuality, though the internalized biphobia still raises its ugly head on occasion. I hope to one day be as out and proud about my gender as I am about my sexuality.”     

They know that coming out can be scary-

If you’re just coming to terms with your sexuality yourself, it probably seems like the biggest issue in the world! And a million bad scenarios are gonna run through your head when you think about coming out to someone. Try to take a step back from the doom and gloom and trust that those close to you will love you enough to accept and celebrate the person that you are. You may be surprised! And even if things don’t go the way you hoped, know that if they do love you, they will learn to accept who you are with time. If they don’t, then they were never worth your affection anyways.

And hopes that the bisexual community can rally together for support-

I hope that everyone in the community surrounds themselves with people who love and embrace all aspects of their identity, and that we can also love and embrace all the various intersecting identities within our own community – trans, gender non-conforming and non-binary, black, Latinx, Muslim, neurodivergent, disabled, and all other intersections.

Maybe with more representation, coming out and finding support will be easier-

It took me years to realize I was bisexual because I didn’t fully believe bisexuality was a valid orientation – I though you had to be either gay, or straight. This despite the fact that I had a group of queer friends throughout high school. Whenever we would discuss orientation, it would only be in the context of gay and straight. In popular media, every figure and character had to be either gay or straight. LGBTQ+ issues were “gay issues.” Once I did find affirmation and community with other bisexuals, the actual process of coming out was relatively easy. The confusion leading up to the realization of my sexual identity was the biggest hurdle.

Chris

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